(Proverbs 17:19 KJV) He loveth transgression that loveth strife: and he that exalteth his gate seeketh destruction.
What is your basic motivation? It makes a difference. So often the results differ according to the heart sense that causes the action. Two people can go through the same situation and come out with totally different results.
Sometimes the difference is because of what people sense in us. This can be subtle or overt. The result is the same. Arrogance can announce itself in the way we walk or in a tone of voice. We are not as good at acting as we think and often we don’t bother to cover up what our motivation is. In a yard sale I will let something go cheaper to someone who seems to appreciate it as opposed to an obvious dealer who just plans to make a profit.
Sometimes the difference is because of what God sees in our hearts. We can fool our friends. We can fool ourselves. We cannot fool God. This is why we will be surprised about who makes it to heaven and who is absent.
So? Start by being honest with yourself. That can be a real challenge. Then be honest with God. Remember, He knows anyway.