Interesting Combination

Proverbs 31:26 (KJV) She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

I am wondering if I have noticed this before, but I see this phrase “law of kindness”.  I wondered if this is that Hebrew word I enjoyed so much, chesed. I looked it up and, yes, it is.  This is the word translated “loving kindness”.

It seems to me that you have here juxtaposition two opposing concepts.  On the one hand you have the law, which is often thought it was being cold and impersonal.  That’s not really a good analysis because in Psalms and Proverbs, the law is lifted up as a wonderful thing, but that’s how many think of it.  Contrasting with that as this idea of loving kindness, mercy, and grace.

I like the idea that we as believers are to be guided by the law of kindness.  It goes along with the definition of love that Paul gives us.  It is a basic quality of God himself.

So?  Looking at this idea of a law of kindness, and find a way to work it into our daily interactions with other people.  

A Time for Ouch

(Pro 3:3 KJV)  Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

“Mercy” (kindness NASB) (2617a) [chesed] and “truth” (571) go together in a way that might not occur to us at first reading.  We usually associate kindness with going easy on someone.  We make allowances for their weaknesses and ignorance.  We hope to win them with kindness.  I am sure there is a place for that but the opposite is also true.  Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for someone is tell the the clear, unvarnished truth.  It can be painful.  It can cause rejection.  It is still necessary.

This is why “lovingkindness” is the best translation for this word.  It is better than mercy or simple kindness.  It points out that our mercy must be tempered by a love that sees eternity and realizes how close it is.

So?  Seek to know which kind of truth you need to give.  It can be a hard choice.  Ask yourself if you will be sorry how you decided.  Always be praying for guidance. 

The Strong, Silent Type

(Pro 17:28 KJV)  Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

I am finding this advice needs to move front and center in my daily interactions.  One person in particular seems to take everything I say, squeeze it, twist it, distort it, and feed it back to me.  I find it almost impossible to have a civil conversation.  Eventually wisdom shows up and says, “Stop trying.”  

I seem to have several options.  I can be rude and just walk by ignoring the person.  I can listen and say some variation of, “Thank you for sharing that,” then walk on ignoring the person.  I can try the pointless route of dialogue.  What is best is to be courteous, listen as carefully as I can and try to get away without any input on my part.  I can then think about what I heard and decide if it is just noise or something to listen to.  

So?  Life involves constant attention.  Let it be governed by courtesy and kindness as well as long suffering.

Home Remedy

(Pro 15:4 KJV)  A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

I am taken aback when I realize how simple some things can be.  I was reading a book about innovation and the thought came to me that many of the medications we take are more optional than we want to admit.  We go to the doctor, get a prescription, take a pill and expect all to get better.  In the process of “healing” we experience nausea and sleeplessness.  We find that the side effects are worse than the original problem.  They we read about some home remedy that used to be common.  I am within reach of a jar that contains something called “healing jelly”.  It used to be called “petroleum jelly” but needed rebranding.  It is amazing all the things it can do if applied.

In the same way a mouth that applies simple kindness can be a healing thing.  We don’t need therapy or counseling.  We don’t need a vacation.  What we need is to simply apply the opening attributes of the description of love which is patience, kindness and a lack of jealousy.

So?  Act like the drug store is closed.  Use what you have on the shelf or what is already in your spiritual vocabulary.  Let God be your natural healer. 

Save It for the Used Car Lot

(Pro 20:14 KJV)  It is naught, it is naught, saith the buyer: but when he is gone his way, then he boasteth.

I am not sure if this is a criticism or a complement.  We have all been to yard sales and flea markets where there is bargaining and haggling going on.  Perhaps you have bought a used car.  The buyer points out every dent.  The seller praises its dependability.   All of those are just a part of a barter economy.  

One place it can be a problem is when it bleeds over into our personal contacts. It seems necessary for some people to point out every flaw I have or they think I have.  Since I already know my weak points pretty well it gets a bit boring.  It hurts anyway.

So?  I try to think that everyone around me has thin skin.  It may not make their day but it moves me toward being a better person.

Leaks

(Pro 3:3 KJV)  Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

Right now I am trying to re-memorize I Corinthians 13.  It is amazing how things that have been placed in secure storage “forsake” (leave NASB) (5800a) our memory.  I can sing commercials from my childhood but the things of value seem to leak out through the semipermeable membranes.  The reason this comes to mind is how this verse lifts out “mercy” (kindness NASB) (2617a) [chesed] which is the second trait listed about love.  To find “truth” (571) you need to look down a little further.

(1Co 13:6 KJV)  Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

I would think that the definitions and references leak fast enough but the practices go even faster.

So?  Be reminded.  That is one reason we keep reading the same verses and why certain topics come up so often in the Bible.  Pray for the day that our behavior matches our knowledge. 

Legalistic Toes

(Pro 25:17 KJV)  Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.

When my granddaughter was even younger than now I would tell her not to go into my closet.  Since the dividing line was marked by transition from tile to carpet it devolved into “don’t let your toes cross the line.”  I am not sure if you would call her a legalist, literalist or smarty pants but she would inch her toes right up to the line and stick her nose beyond it.  At my closet it was cute.  In my living room it could be a problem.

The issue is not your “foot” (7272).  In those days I could see a reluctance to go out in the yard because your neighbor would insist on long gossip sessions over the fence.  Today we can “step” into people homes by all kinds of electric devices.  I marvel at how long my wife can talk on the phone.  I often wonder if the person on the other end wants to hang up.  Of course, I am a bit of a loner and an isolationist but still....  

So?  If you want people to be ready to listen to your love of Jesus you might want to not make your appearance a dreaded event.  If it is to gregarious individuals, that is one thing, but keep in mind that everyone is not that way.

Smiley Speech

(Pro 12:25 KJV)  Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.

Too many people who consider themselves Christians spend little or no time reading the “word” (1697).  I know that I have had long periods where I have gone stale.  God has been patient with me and walked me through it.  I am sure He was thinking about shaking His head over my lack of discipline but He also knew that if He shook His head the entire universe might have trembled.  As much as I would like to go off on the written word here, that is not the meaning.  This is the standard Hebrew for the spoken word.  It is extremely common, just as the words we use are common.

The point here is that we can lift up others by giving them a few “good” (2896a) words.  The idea is beautiful and positive.  This is not quoting scripture to them, although that may be appropriate.  This is the “nice job” or “you have really helped me” type of comment.

So?  You never know what a kind word can do to make someone’s day.  It would be good if we would look for opportunities to lift up the many people we rub elbows with that we don’t know well enough to do more than say something with a smile. 

Taking Advantage

(Pro 22:22 KJV) Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate:

I find it interesting the qualification added in this verse, “because he is poor”.  Does it mean that it is okay to rob a poor man who is not poor?  Does it mean you can rob a rich man?  Somehow neither feels right.  I think it is more a warning to not take advantage of people.

We do this in many ways.  I am ashamed to remember the way in which I joined in a group effort to take advantage of one girl in our group who was far from the sharpest tack in the package.  She took it in good form outwardly but later I wondered how much pain she was internalizing.  I can only hope she was too dumb to understand what we were doing.  

So?  We are to treat people as fellow-heirs to the kingdom.  We are to fill in the pot holes in their life, not dig them deeper.  I am sure we can find some application in each of our lives and days. 

Pick Your Attitudes

(Pro 3:3 KJV) Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

I am a big one for truth.  I seek accuracy.  I want the words to match reality.  I think I am on the side of angels with that, however....  The thing I need to concentrate more on is “mercy" (kindness NASB) (2617a) [chesed].  If there is anything that is lacking in this world it is truth presented with kindness.  That does not mean watering it down or muting it.  It does mean presenting it under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

This hit me today as I read it after a bit of interpersonal conflict.  It is so easy to take our position or to get huffy that we have been wronged and go Viking on people.  That is not allowed if we follow the mandate of love [agape].  In I Corinthians 13 the second quality of love is kindness.

So?  More important than picking your battles is picking your attitude.  May God help us all. 

Simple Measure

(Pro 31:12 KJV) She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

We often fall into the trap of saying, “That does not apply to me.”  This verse is describing the perfect wife.  I have never been a wife, nor do I expect to ever fill that role.  Like almost everything else in the Bible, it applies to me.

How do I treat people around me?  What is the effect of their contact with me?  Our commission is to do them “good” (2896b).

So?  Seems simple.  Seems measurable.  Today is the day. 

RSVP

(Pro 15:17 KJV) Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.

One of the things this is talking about is the gift of hospitality.  I don’t know about your circles but we have been noticing for years that people do not do a lot of “have them over for dinner” anymore.  I think this goes back at least a decade in our observation.  We have tried reaching out.  There is a pattern.  People look confused but agree to come for dinner.  They arrive and stay late, obviously having a good time.  There is no reciprocation.  It is a one way street. 

At one point when we were getting involved in a new church we saw this pattern.  We had been attending a few years and were in a discussion on why the church was not growing.  Keep in mind that this was a church with a nice facility in a good location with a steady stream of visitors.  I asked a guy who was at the heart of the church but was not related to the core, founding family, “Other than us and the pastor, how many people in this church have had you to their house for dinner?”  He didn’t need to think long to say, “None.” 

What this verse tells us is we need to have people over for simple meals.  Don’t let a lack of fine china stop you.  It doesn’t matter if you are not a gourmet cook.  Go against the cultural norm of our day and have someone over for sandwiches and some koinonia. 

So?  Open your home and be gracious.  It may not be returned but it can be given. 

Curse Awareness

(Pro 30:10 KJV) Accuse not a servant unto his master, lest he curse thee, and thou be found guilty.

In modern times our intellectual side does not believe a “curse” (7043) has any power.  The problem is that we have a non-intellectual side that is open to superstition.  How often have you had someone say, “Knock on wood”?  How many people do you know that are a bit wary on Friday the 13th.  The Bible admits that curses exist but seems to tell us not to worry about it.  Even here we don’t see what we think of as a curse.

The Hebrew word is fairly common but has many different translations.  The root meaning of the word has to do with making things slight, quick or of no account.  Here we could get the idea of someone trash-talking about you.  Aside from the general sense of showing courtesy to people and avoiding gossip is the warning that even people with no obvious power over you have the ability to caste doubt on your character.

So?  If you can’t be kind and courteous because it is the right thing to do then maybe you should consider it as a means of self-preservation. 

Build up or Tear Down

(Pro 12:4 KJV) A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

“Rottenness” (7538) of “bones” (6106) is a graphic picture.  I think of cancer or of putrid meat.  The phrase is used twice, both in Proverbs.  Here it is a bad-news wife.  The other,

    (Pro 14:30 KJV) A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.

speaks of our emotions being out of control. 

Most men would not knowingly marry someone who would always be shaming them.  For that matter, neither would women choose such a spouse.  It can obviously work both ways.  It is obviously something we should avoid causing.

So?  We can cause rotten bones by our actions or our words.  It might be something for each of us to apply a self examination time to.

Social Oil

(Pro 27:9 KJV) Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel.

Sometimes I am glad I live in modern times.  In the ancient Middle East, as in much of the world, it was considered hospitable to apply oil and ointments to guests.  Today we have so much variety in how people make themselves look that it might not seem strange but we live in the era of shampoo, hair dryers and hair spray.  In those days when you were welcomed into a home they would “anoint your head with oil” like it says in the 23rd Psalm.  It was an insult to not offer it to a guest.

We have our own traditions to make people feel welcome.  Some of us might need to work on them a little more.  On hot days we might offer tea or lemonade.  On cold days coffee or tea.  Part of the ritual is to accept so the person can extend hospitality.  We could probably work on this a bit.  We need to learn to extend hospitality to visitors, to make them feel welcome.

So?  It probably is not considered gracious when someone come to you door to ask, “What do you want?”  It might be a better witness to work on being gracious.  If it is a salesman and they refuse to take “No” for an answer, then you can get more focused in your refusal.  Most of us need to work on hospitality to non-salesmen. 

Point from Reference

(Pro 19:22 KJV) The desire of a man is his kindness: and a poor man is better than a liar.

My Hebrew skills consist of a wish and some reference books based on the Strong’s numbering system.  That means I could be totally off on this but my sources say that the KJV is more accurate here than the NASB.  In the NASB the desire is a modifier pointing at the man.  My sources say that the Hebrew for “desire” (8378) is a noun.  The NASB seems to be implying that the desire is in God.  What it is saying is that we as human beings should have a desire for kindness.

“Kindness” (2617a) in the New Testament is part of the definition of love.  Love is a conscious choice, not an emotion or an hormonal response. 

So?  Once again walking in righteousness comes down to our choices.  Those choices are expanded by grace and the power of the Holy Spirit but choices they remain.  This is a day to chose wisely. 

Nonsense of Humor

(Proverbs 26:19 KJV)  So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?

What is the dividing line between genuine, acceptable humor and deceit?  We often are the target or the protagonist of practical jokes.  They usually involve some kind of misdirection or deliberate misunderstanding.  We have all heard that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.  I usually hear that from people who have no sense of humor so it is like someone who can’t carry a tune telling me I need to get into the contemporary worship experience. 

There is a line and I think it is one of those things that is hard to define but we know when we have crossed it.  I was once a part of a teaching team of four teachers.  Three of us were clowns and one had no sense of humor.  We found that we had to regularly say, “Joke, Irene, Joke.”  She would get a puzzled look on her face, think a moment and nod.  We need to be careful that we are not deceiving people.  We need to make sure our motives in humor are right.

So?  Be alert for people with no sense of humor.  They have other qualities and you need to be a better person. 

Generating with Generosity

(Proverbs 11:25 KJV)  The liberal soul shall be made fat: and he that watereth shall be watered also himself.

Which comes first, being “liberal” (generous NASB) (1293) or being “fat” (prosperous NASB)
 (1878)?  My mind turns to the concept of tithing.  It is amazing how many people change the meaning of the tithe, one tenth, to “whatever you can afford”.  The assumption is that poor people cannot afford to tithe.  Since we are no longer under the law they are free to make their case but this verse adds a bit of spice to the argument that people might be poor because they do not tithe.

My concern is not tithing.  That is between you and the Lord but the point being made here is that God wants us to be generous to people in need.  He wants us to be generous in general.  This is not a crass, vending machine promise.  This is a principle of the universe, laid down by God.  I guess it might be a corollary of the golden rule.

So?  Simple.  Be generous.  Share your wealth of money and time.  Be a blessing.  If done with the right attitude it will be rewarded. 

Target Practice

(Proverbs 11:24 KJV)  There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty.

Generosity is a character trait that is consistent with being a spirit filled Christian.  There are numerous references to giving to the poor and sharing with those in need.  We are told to be generous givers when it comes to the needs of the church.  What came to mind was the parable of the sower and soils that Jesus told.  It starts like this,

(Matthew 13:3 KJV)  And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;

The picture of the sower is scattering the seed.  I imagine taking a hand full and sweeping my arm around and trying to produce an even spread.  I am sure that it takes a lot of practice to do it right. 

Solomon is probably aware that we need more practice in scattering, whether it be slipping a few dollars to a struggling family in the church or speaking up about Jesus in a public meeting.

So?  Practice takes place two ways, planned and spontaneous.  I need to improve in both.

W&K

(Proverbs 31:26 KJV)  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

As we come to the end of another year it is good to be reminded to two character traits that we will need in large measure for tomorrow and the days after. 

We desperately need “wisdom” {2451}.  My wife has a bit of technology called Roku.  On in she has multiple choices available at the click of a button.  I think there are even more she could access with the application of a credit card.  I am not sure than any of them dispenses wisdom.  The main product is entertainment.  Others will be informative.  What we need is wisdom, however you want to define it.  What we need to the max is wisdom from God.  Pray that voices will be lifted up and that ears will tune in.

We also need “kindness” (2617a).  This is more than helping old ladies across the street and being patient with the new kitten.  This is a galactic word in Hebrew, chesed.  It is the Old Testament word for the New Testament agape.  It is only possible in the context of God’s grace.  We live in a republic, so partisan differences are our glory.  The Constitution gives us the right to express ourselves in something we have come to call Freedom of Speech.  We need to remember that while the civil law says “Yes”, there may be times when the divine law says, “No.”  We may express our opinions but with what Peter calls “gentleness and reverence” in the NASB’s translation of I Peter 3:15.

So?  The date for the new year is arbitrary.  Wisdom and kindness are eternal.  Make this a W&K year.